Still treading water

[Grizz]

I havent really posted much recently but sorry, I need to vent.

W and I have been getting along better over the past couple of weeks than we have since BD. We are having friendly conversations, she actually laughed at/with me today and W has not gone to work over the weekends like previously.

This evening however, D4 was not listening and acting out and W says "I can't wait to get to work tomorrow". Maybe it shouldn't have but this hurt.
(Early on, W has said several times that she would rather be at a job she hates than to be at home with me).

Now that kids are asleep, W goes downstairs to get away. Obviously from me since the kids are asleep.

I know that this shows I am not detached. I have known this all along. I am trying. It's just since we have been getting along better than in forever it just hurts.
Darn expectations! I know AS has talked about how his expectations have bitten him. I am trying to remember his words of advice but it is just hard to do once you start getting along better.

Does us getting along better mean anything? I don't know. Aside from being friendly and talking to me more, there have been no other new signs of affection. Not going to temperature check though. That never goes well.

Thanks for listening/reading. I just needed to get that off of my chest. Maybe I am just a little too sensitive tonight.