Been here 5 years and a new tough situation

[whitneypinch]

Ohhh I am so happy to have helped in any way.
Glad it brought a bit of clarity to your situation with the new man you met.

I didn't even scratch the surface of how deep my involvement with my kids is.
I take each of my kids on an adventure when it's their birthday. Last year my 9 year old daughter wanted me to take her to Nashville. She likes new country music.
In the past I have arranged for her to meet Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, and a bunch of her favourite singers. I used to do work in the music business.
This year my 8 year son wants me to take him (7 hour drive) to go see Frank LLoyd Wright's, Fallingwater house for his birthday.
Each summer we go on an adventure. Last summer we did a whitewater rafting trip in Utah and this year we are going to DC for 4th of July.
Every year I build all the sets for my kid's school play etc.
I LOVE every minute of it and I get the most meaning in life from it.

Now the not so great stuff... I used to be a cynical and somewhat negative person when I was married.
After the bomb I have become forever changed. I went to counselling, read every book on divorce, marriage, relationships, communications etc.
I know this sounds odd but my divorce made me a much better person and I am thankful I went thought it. I appreciate so much now, sometimes to a fault.

If I didn't have kids the breakup would be hard but for me having kids make's the breakup so painful. I hurt the most for my XW when I have the kids. My heart breaks that she is not experiencing all the greatness of our kids along with us.
One of the things I get the greatest meaning is to share an experience with someone I love. It breaks my heart not to be able to do it with my XW along with our kids. For me nothing is more meaningful.

I hope I reach a point of acceptance soon.
Right now I am feeling a lot of hurt, anger and sadness.

Thanks again for posing your positive views on the way things are for you.