[Breakdown]

Hi in_it. I'm sorry you find yourself here, but you seem to be ahead of the curve in finding the sight and journaling.

Have you read DR yet? How about 5LL?

I recently read "Love Must Be Tough" and it was a wake up call on self-respect. I recommend that as well if you have time. I think the message will be tough for you to hear, but I also think this sounds a lot like some of his examples in the book.

I think it's important to start setting some boundaries. Your H is cake eating for sure....how much are you willing to let him? For me, I set a boundary of no contact with OM in the family home and no discussion to me about him in any way.

So what were the problems in the M from his perspective?

From yours?

What do you want to work on for you?

What don't you like about yourself?

I know it's mind reading, but I sometimes think he is just keeping me around as a backup plan in case he can't move & relocate with work or bring himself to leave our daughters.

Agreed.

H said something interesting this morning…he was speaking of the future & us. He said if we make it through all this that we should really think about refinancing our house. He has mentioned future things before, but only a couple of weeks out.

I would dismiss that as WAS crap. They always say stupid stuff like that...believe nothing they say.