Guys, I feel blessed by having you all. FY, Ruby, Subguy, Labug, GTO, Busting, and Tumbling (welcome back!) you are all amazing.
Labug, what you said about a step I "won't have to repeat" resonated with me. It's so true. Especially bc I don't intend to get D again--EVER!! Maybe I'm jinxing myself :-)
I've been pretty sad today, in tears many times. Maybe bc it's Easter? I was sitting alone at church and I just wanted to leave. There were a few people on their own, but I chose to focus on the families and couples, and you know how that is. I felt angry at my H for doing what he's doing, especially for having this R now instead of waiting till the D is final. But whatever. I know I can't expect to control any of his actions, and that he has to learn his lessons on his own.
I reworded some of the stuff the mediator wrote so it's a bit clearer and more equitable. My L is going to fall off his chair when he sees it. My mom was telling me I should follow the L's advice and go to court, but I've decided to just stop this madness and go with what we agreed on at the mediation session. I know I would get a better financial deal if we went to court, but I choose peace and do not want to have another traumatic experience added to my life. Abundance is there for me, anyway, and once I'm an established author, my H will wish he had been the one to ask for support :-)
I'll be talking about the doc with my H tomorrow. He is pretty happy w the outcome (he couldn't have done better financially,) so the conversation should be less stressful. He even texted me to thank me for the brownies and for being patient with him. Said he knew this was hard for me. I replied saying that I knew it was hard for him too, and he said yes.
