MIL rang today to ask me to bring the kids up to visit them for Easter. STBX had taken them up on Friday for lunch. Now she was asking me for Sunday. "To exchange eggs" she said. I had no eggs to give MIL & FIL - no money, so no eggs.
But anyway, had a nice afternoon. Just sitting around with them and the kids talking and laughing.
Just seemed so normal. Catching up with all the news about family members. Like nothing had ever happened; just that STBX was not there. Not that I missed his presence - I'm so used to it being just the 3 of us now.
But it brought home to me how 'unreal' his absence is, in a sense. I don't 'miss' him or 'need' him any more. It's not that sort of feeling. It just feels so unbelievable, still.
I suppose it's the same when someone dies unexpectedly. You just can't grasp the finality of it.
Now I'm left with a feeling that maybe i shouldn't be having anything to do with MIL and FIL. Maybe it will keep me stuck.... Maybe only stbx should take the kids to see them.
Would it be better for everyone concerned and help me to move on if I just dropped out of their lives too?
But then, I am their grandchildren's mother. And we are likely to be involved in each other's lives for many years to come.
Obviously, people have to negotiate this sort of thing all the time. But it just feels very false at the moment. Like "Don't mention the war", we speak of everything except him. And no-one mentions HER.
Is this just more pursuit on my part? STBX has accused me of 'sucking up' to his parents.
IDK, can't think straight. Just thought I needed to ramble a bit in the hope of some clarity.
