FY, in one of your earlier posts you mentioned that you were the rescuer for your W. When W and I went to MC the one and only time, the C told me that's the role I had in our relationship. It was a shocking statement that I still hear her saying. "You were her rescuer but now she's looking for a mate. It may or may not be you."

Our Ws may be staying close by for the simple reason that they still view themselves as the victim and us as their rescuer. What steps are you taking to stop that dynamic in your sitch? One thing I've been working on is encouraging my W to stand up to her persecutor (her mother).

M - 42
W- 37
S's - 9,6
M-12
T-14
FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011
ILYBNILWY - march '12
FIL - died jan '13
W Moved out week later