That is exactly the reply that I wanted to hear. You are 100% right in EVERYTHING you just said. In someways I just wanted to express my hurt and know that someone out there heard me and cared. I don't want this to sound pathetic. It's just that when you are a single parent dealing with pain you need to turn to others. Friends and family just don't get it like people on this board do.
If I was to truly look at the situation; my XW is not the ideal thing for me. I don't say this to put my XW down or to prop me up. I simply note this is response to your insightful views AntoniaB. You are right. Obviously this has taken a toll on my self-worth etc. I have to work on that in a big way !!
As you have mentioned...I am not interested in dating anyone unless its the right one. I live an extremely interesting and diverse life. Sometimes I don't mind it. It's just sometimes I feel lonely, like we all do. I do love sharing all the wonderful experiences I do, with someone else. That is why I get such meaningful fulfilment sharing with my kids.
I am adopted and I never felt the kind of love I have with my kids. That is the most wonderful feeling and meaning I have ever had in my life. It extremely hard to not be able to share that with my XW to the level I want.
A lot of the hurt I am felling is "why am I and our family not worth it". That is my problem to work out and heal. I think it's the deep feeling of abandonment this breakup has brought out.
My 8 year old son came to me the day after my XW announced to him she is in a serious relationship. He was crying. I was being strong, positive and supportive to him. I tried to explain that we all want to be happy. That this situation with the new guy makes mommy happy. My son then said to me "dad, how come we are not enough for mommy" Whoaaa, can you imagine how hard it was to hear that. I really did not have an answer for that, and just tried to comfort him.
AntoniaB I am truly appreciative for your post. I know I will be re-reading it many times and taking every point to heart. I have to say that you nailed it 100%.
Today is a big day for my kids so I have to be positive and strong for them. Their grandparents put on a big Easter Hunt for them. I know my XW will probably send me an email at the end of the day or tomorrow asking how it went. She too knows how excited my kids are for today.
Happy Easter to everyone.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
