25, the feedback you've provided here is invaluable. The general problem areas you've outlined are, of course, things I've known for some time and I'm working on them both on my own and in IC.

Let me ask you this: so the next step for W is that she wants to make individual plans for pre- and post-D. Do I just go along with that and do what she asks? Do I tell her that I still feel that she should work on things? Stander had a great post somewhere about validation (you're right, I do probably just agree with her and call it validation -- blam, another 2x4 between the eyes from 25!). I've got to learn how to do that effectively.

Thanks everybody for sharing your incredible wisdom and support.

Happy Easter.

M41 W42
M 12 T 15
S10, D9, twin Ds 3 1/2
BD 1/2/2013
Living as roommates
Working on D agreement w. mediator 5/13