Waw and divorce filed. What to do next?

[Pumpkinhead]

Hello Everyone,
I found this site from reading DR book and I thought I would see what information and suggestions I could get on saving my marriage. The Waw scenario sums up what has happened, as well as she was involved with oom old friend from middle school. I also can see the midlife crisis going on at the same time. Things are in fast forward in her life right now and just wants to be done, gone and moved on to greener grass asap.

I guess I'll start from the last day I thought we were happy. 12/31/2012. Went out to a new years eve party, had a good time. Sat, hugged, and kissed my wife most of the night. Counted down the ball drop, celebrated the New Year with a kiss, 10 mins later she left me at the party. I got a ride home 30 mins later from a friend. When we got ready for bed I asked her what happened at the party she let me know she was done and wanted a divorce. No option of R or Counseling, Therapy, or any other help to save or marriage. Of course I was shocked and devastated, asked and pleaded to think about it and talk in the morning.

Next morning I found out she was sneaking around with oom and telling him she loved him and would wait for him. I was again shocked and devastated. I saw her FB post from 12/31/2012 6 hours before new years. "Happy New Years and to New Beginnings" So I figured she had planned this for a while. She denied it and said she had an epiphany @ midnight. She also denied the OOM.

So as of now she moved out 1/10/2013 got into a rental with a 1 year lease. We only talk about splitting of assets and the kids. She had 3 from PM and I have 1 from PM, none together. At first of course I chased her and did all the things you shouldn't do. A few weeks after she was gone I was reading a lot and thought I would try the "let her have space" and figure things out. She seems very happy away from me and my D. She goes out all the time with friends and is still talking with the OOM as well as being on dating sites.

Just the other day I was served with papers from her having a lawyer now. So things are escalating rapidly. She wants me out of the house asap so she can short sale it. She wants to start the new chapter in her life.

Btw, she left her first husband about the same way. Came home said she was done, moved out and never looked back. I can see the writing on the wall, but I refuse to give up on our marriage, my wife, my family, and our future without a fight and doing everything I can to save us.

Any help or suggestions are greatly appreciated.