Mana, Mana! Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo! Part 2

[Tallula]

Thank you everyone! You have no idea what it means to me to come on here and see the posts of support.

Well, the baby shower was tough. Not going to lie. Everyone rubbing my belly congratulating me. "a third?!? I thought you guys were done?" "wait, you're pregnant? 21 weeks? How did none of us know?" oh, yea, my husband is banging 2 other woman, so we haven't formally announced it... It's a group of my moms friends that throw showers for all their kids. I held it together, but when my mom and I got in the car to leave I just started sobbing. I told her I was done. That I'm going to see a lawyer this week. We both cried. I haven't told her its been a serial thing. I may never. But she supports me. Totally. Said not to worry about any money, we could all live with them.

Did egg dying with the kids, they had a blast!!! H sensed something in me, I had texted that the shower unexpectedly upset me, so I was composing myself and would be a bit later than I thought. After I got there he asked what happened. I just said it was such a happy time for our friends, and it made me sad that ours wasn't. I started to cry. He came over to comfort me saying "what can I do..." I just turned and said "there is nothing to do. It is what it is. You can't make this better".

I'm not sad right now that my M is over. Its the first time I can remember not remotely wanting this man to touch me. As I was washing my face for bed, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. "good night, babe. I love you." I knew. I can do this. I don't feel comfort from him. He is no longer safe. I'm letting him go. At least in that moment.