Whitney, I am sorry you are feeling badly. It's tough.
I think, though, that you must have realized at some point that your xw most likely would meet someone, no? Especially since she made it very clear that she was not interested in the two of you.
I understand you still love her and that you have young children whose lives you are very much involved in. I am assuming that is why you have not dated.
I know you were hoping this day never came. Now it has and it feels like the bomb all over again. I think in large part because you have not moved forward and detached completely.
I think she reacted as she did for a few reasons. First, you did something different. Sometimes, when the MLCer is going to take a big step like she is, they often take a step back for a moment to make sure they arent making a mistake.
As far as the kids, own your part, not hers too. She left and that in turn hurt the kids.
But she is right in that you do not want your kids to worry about you. Not their job at all.
You have been given the gift of an opportunity to show your children how to navigate through life's turmoils. And you want to show them how to do it with dignity, courage and strength.
You want them to see that you are ok. Clearly, they worry about you.
My son was 16 when all this happened. And I made sure that he knew I was ok and that he never had to worry about me or not live his life.
It is great to have a good working relationship with your xw regarding the kids. But, it really is time for you to move forward with your life.
