Hi Ryan, my, my - what a parallel to my situation. I have three kids with my wife of 17 years (together for three decades), OM has two kids, he is a high-school flame of 32 years ago. Our BD was in February 2012. My W has been living together with OM and my/our kids for half a year now. I guess your wife has somewhat more decency and gives your M more time but still the parallels are eerie.
DR is the tool which has helped me most. Not regarding my wife so far, she is moving further and further away. But at least I have survived, emotionally and otherwise, and feel ok now, a year after BD. I have searched long and hard for any "tricks" to win my wife back, to influence her, to make her come back. There is no such trick. There is no control over the WAS. Forget about trying to influence her. Focus on yourself and your kids. Make sure that you survive the first weeks. Take care of yourself, eat enough, sleep enough, perform some exercise. If you have a job stick to it. And "GAL" - do things you like in your spare time, with your kids or alone. And only then think about your wife and detach as much as possible.
Hang on. It's not an easy ride but I promise it will get better.
