Suckerpunch stage 3

[labug]

Sp, your mind takes you to some very scary places, and I get it because I used to do the same thing. Nothing could ever be just a little negative, in my mind I had to go to full-on catastrophe so I would be prepared. I was scared sh!tless most of the time just waiting for the impending doom.

When I talked about scenarios that most likely won't come true, this is what I was thinking of:

I am not so sure I will want EX-W living here a few years after we are divorced....just to put this into perspective.
That will only happen if you want it to.

If i give her enough to survive, I will not be able to survive. You will both survive, it may be a different level but you will survive. A court will attempt to level the playing field but won't sacrifice you for her. Sounds like you're pretty well protected through your corporation.

I think my W will be burdened with work, trying to make ends meet. I will as well. Our spendable money will plummit and we will both have to take up the slack. That is a given, and I don't think that scenario is unrealistic. Therefore, time with D will be even less.....less than the 50% of her life that we will be "allowed" to spend with her. I also believe my W is holding very high expectations on her future success. No, I don't believe she is going to be earning 6 figures as an insurance agent in a very small agency. I personally feel she is going to be hard pressed to live a comfortable lifestyle on her own. I feel my otlook on the future as far as finances go is grimm. I feel that it is going to be extremely difficult at our ages to find a partner that isn't emotionally damaged from something similar to what we are going through, someone who probably has children that will need to blend with our D. My future GF/W will have to like my D. I will have to like hers. Our kids will have to like each other. My Wife will have to find a similar scenario. I don't know. Maybe I am being a pesimist, but that is how I feel it is going to go down. I think those are very real expectations....
To say this is how you feel it will go down is coming from your emotions. We all know how changeable emotions are that we can control our emotions. Try to, from a thinking place, include all the above in a paragraph with an action plan that will make the outcome more positive. We all get stuff thrown at us in life and we get to choose whether we throw our hands up and walk away p!ssed or we decide to learn from the hurt, come up with solutions and move forward into a better life.

I don't believe that everything we get in life comes from our thoughts but I do believe that if we think negatively we reflect negatively and find it difficult to see positives. We become so mired in the muck of our lives it's difficult to move forward in a positive direction.

We'd rather just be unhappy.

Changing takes work and the outcome isn't guaranteed.