hey hi and boy am i ever in your "boat" here. easy to SAY ac

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. I am having the hardest time agreeing that he deserves to come to home after having spent time with OP. Is it jealousy, yes, it's also anger and disgust, jealousy and sadness, and more jealousy.
t as if-

it's hard as heck to do and it's (like you) my giant stumbling block to the part of keeping on having the lite on. i swear- i'm sitting here thinking about the fact that i bet you the very next minute after his father died- he ran out of the room and got on his phone to make a reservation to get rid of me up in nj and hurry up and fly back to fl - to ow - asap. makes me sick- but he's got the 10 day advance thing right down to the minute practically- couldn't you just throw up to thnk it? it's like his love/sex texts to ow at his step mother's funeral!!! no kidding- saw them. his dad is there crying and he's doing THAT.

nevertheless - it's what it is - me vs the ow thing. i am insulted mostly down to the roots of my hair- to be soooo whammed aside for her. to know every single minute- she is his preference- AND also the bit about not sharing his friends. - TRUE HERE TOO. i just can't stand it today- i thnk i'm getting soooooo 'over it" and then here i am- up here in nj- he's here ( i do not know why - why he's here and why he is in my life at all) - i swear it-

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Getting on him about living here if he's going to continue with/ea is the only thing I have ever gotten on him about in 24yrs. The pain just flys right out of my mouth


me too - and i'm being honest. i'm no saint- but i don't nag. never have - i don't even say it out loud about ow- but i feel just as you do. i hate it - i hate her and when i know he's with her= i hate him. it's only a mattr of time i fear that it will "stick" and there will be no backs for us.

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The jealousy comes from knowing that he is sharing his thoughts and time with op. Also, that he is exploring friendships without me and they are enjoying him as a single man, who is (was) mine a


it's true- it's gross - talk about death by a thousand cuts - it's me and it's you. why do we endure it? i think finances sometimes- but that's not it. if it were- i'd have married someone for money and been done with i

all of a sudden- he's got all this social life and i'm not welcome in it- well, they know i exist- but it doesn't matter. i am not part of it and it pisses me off. alllll these years he's shared everysingle aspect of my life, friends, etc. AND NOW - kabam- HE'S SOME STUPID SINGLE GUY and he's out there puttring on that act.