I'm trying real hard to be the Shepard.

[reachingHigher]

Hi Mtnman,

I'm so sorry it's such a tough place. Actually I see a lot of hope in your sitch b/c of how W responds to you. She isn't at all ready to come back, she has more work to do. But she doesn't want to lose you either.

I hafta share, after some experience in my sitch, I think confrontation is rarely a good idea. You want some EXPECTED result .... like she'll snap out of it or something. And she isn't ready so all you will get is a pushing away further of her and a huge disappointment for you.

This isn't easy. You are in the thick of it.

I have faced the phone usage issues too. It's frustrating. I know. I still am afraid sometimes with that. But I think, as hard as it is, you have to let the phone bothering you go. You have to accept it's part of her escaping from her current reality. You have to just accept it's an evil that goes along with the whole MLC and you trying to make little comments or forcing the issue won't make her feel more kindly towards you.

Remember that in DB one of the questions is "will this bring me closer to my goal?".

I think you are doing a lot of great activities to distract yourself right now and I commend you. But you still think you can change her heart. I don't really think you can. This limbo we live is the price we must pay to be faithful to our vows and wait it out.

In the meantime we can work on ourselves. And all these things I'm telling you, I say so, reminding myself of the same things.

I read your sitch whenever you post, Mtnman, and I like your heart and your faithfulness. You have humor, dedication and faith. Now....just add patience!

Keep up the good work...but do so silently!!!

rH