FM, I'm sorry it's come to this but I do think you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. That said, I will echo what AS said about the anger...also hearing some self-pity and blame.
Your W clearly has some deep issues she's going to have to work thru in her own way and in her own time. She's broken, and probably has been a long long time. Where's your compassion for her?
What about the things you are working on? Has that all gone to the wayside, or are you still working on those things? How's your progress? Detaching seems like it's still an issue.
You do realize that your W's actions don't control you right? She can't make you angry, unless you allow it. She can't make you sad, unless you allow it.
I know this is tough...hang in there, but don't lose sight of your issues.
