Once a muse...

[SugarBaby31]

Spoke with H last night. Conversation began light as we discussed my upcoming birthday plans and Easter. He expressed that he wished he could be here.

Then he changed gears and shared that he wanted to be honest about something. He admitted to dating when we initially separated and that he has been "talking" to someone for about a month--in reality, he has been seeing OW for 2 months (my H is a celebrity and I've seen pics online to prove it and I've read a love letter from her when the kids and I last visited him). I thanked him for his honesty and acknowledged that it's not easy sharing this kind of news. One issue my H has with me, is that I often dismiss him when it comes to discussing challenging things, I basically do not give him a safe place to be heard or accepted. No wonder he ran looking for validation with other women, and there were plenty available because of his line of work. Throughout the call I listened and empathized with him.

Another issue H has with me, is that I often react in an unreasonable retaliatory way to things that he does that hurt me. For example, I turned off his credit cards once when he was traveling when I found out about an EA. Did I have a right to be angry, absolutely. But, I should have handled my reaction in a better way. H shared that he was concerned I would withhold the kids from him after learning this news. I empathized with him and explained that it wouldn't affect him visiting the kids.

All in all, the call ended well and I can sense he was relieved and taken back by my calm and pleasant reaction.

Today, H texts the following and I have yet to respond:
"I just wanted to thank you for listening to me last night. I know it wasn't really something you wanted to hear and it was really hard to share...But I feel like the more honest I can be with you, the better we can be. I still don't know what the future holds but I really appreciate you."

I have yet to respond because I don't want to appear too eager because "I've let go" and I haven't found the right words. Thoughts anyone...