Need help!!

[Accuray]

There are chemical effects at work in your brain that are making your wife seem much better than she is and therefore much more desirable than she should be. Getting rejected or left robs us of self esteem so we see reconciliation as the quick path to be reaffirmed and get self esteem back. When reconciliation doesn't happen it starts us on a death spiral of self esteem plummet.

The way to detach is actually simple: you need to convince yourself that you are "all that" without your spouse's validation.

How do you do it?

1). Goal setting: set achievable goals for yourself where you can see weekly progress. It can be anything, losing weight, saving money, working out, playing an instrument and learning a new song, whatever. This is important because it will make you feel IN CONTROL and our sitch makes us feel out of control.

2). Replace adult interaction: Absolute best way is to volunteer. Helping other people makes you feel good about yourself and builds self respect. Take a class, join a meetup. Meet people who will like you for who you are, seeking shared interests is a great way to go.

3). Exercise like crazy

4). Upgrade your wardrobe and get a different haircut -- change your look

5). Give it time. It will be better but not overnight