This whole Easter thing really is a thorn in my side. W says I can come to the family Easter brunch on Sunday, but she's taking the kids tomorrow (Saturday) and spending the night with the family, but that there's no "reason" for me to be there. I'm going to go out with some friends on Saturday, so that feels like a pretty good response. But I don't think I can go to the brunch on Sunday. Y'see, the W tells everybody in her family every grizzly detail about this whole situation and it's just getting really hard to look them in the eye. My SIL, for example, came over last Sunday to pick up our nephews who had spent the night with S10 and D9 and suddenly W came up with the idea for the two of them to go out for lunch. I, of course, immediately agreed to watch all the kids and said "have fun", knowing in the back of my mind what the topic of conversation would be. Now, before they went out, SIL was chatting with me and talking about her new practice. But, as you probably have guessed, as soon as they get back, SIL can't even look me in the eye. I don't even want to THINK about what she told her. And worse, I don't want their pity. That's even worse than condemnation.
Another development: W is taking a management course that's made up of 4 sessions lasting three days and two nights and spread out over 4 months. Of course, when she's gone, yours truly is left with all of the responsibility for the kids. Or worse, she calls in the in-laws to help take care of the twin D3s. They're not getting any younger, and any time she 'helpfully' calls them to take care of the kids while she has something to do (usually with work), and I can tell they fell put out. They ask when can they leave, they don't do a lot with the kids, etc. Plus MIL just found out that she had had a heart infarction, and she complains of very low energy. I know that part of her post-D plan relies on them to pick up some of the slack, and I am starting to worry about them. ANYWAY, the thing about the course is that it's almost like a religious retreat. They really try to dig up a lot of deep personal issues and the W always raves on and on about the course when she gets home. It makes me think, well, if you would only spend a fraction of the energy that you spend on that course working with me on our marriage, we would solve our problems in no time!
But, the reason that the course has bearing on my situation today is because I know for a fact that she has made an appointment with one of the guys from her course to come to her job and discuss... I dunno.... management-related things that they talked about at the course. Today, she mentioned to me that she planned to work all week next week while the kids are home from school, and, oh yeah, that she's going out on Friday night. Hmm. So I asked, with whom? (I know, I know: detach!) and she refused to answer. This after I get the third-degree every time I want to go out and do anything. Anyway, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to deduce that she's going out after work with the dude from the course. I texted her that I didn't mind her going out with her assistant manager (the old dude she's had an EA with) or some guy from the course, but I think it stinks that she's going to do that while leaving me at home all day (on a day that technically she's supposed to be with the kids so that I can work) and all evening so she can go out with some guy and be secretive about it. I know, I know: I've got to give her space, but it's a lot to take in at the moment and I needed to vent. This is really low, in my opinion.
M41 W42 M 12 T 15 S10, D9, twin Ds 3 1/2 BD 1/2/2013 Living as roommates Working on D agreement w. mediator 5/13
