The chat of anger reminds of a conversation I had with a DB coach a while back...
If you're in a place of anger and resentment, it will come across in every communication you have with your spouse. While you may think you're acting happy or "as-if" it is still there. It may be shown in your body language, an eye-roll, or unintentional tone of voice. You have to let go over the anger and resentment.
...and now I'm off to try and do what I type. GRRRRR
So true. It's hard, really, really hard. I feel for you Sucker, I do! I'm pregnant with 2 small kids at home. Let's talk about fair. But, I just keep looking at it this way...it IS! Will me constantly focusing on how unfair this is, make it NOT unfair?! Nope. Will me taking a video of my 4 year old sobbing that his dad isn't coming to visit when he said he was, and sending it to H make him end it with OW and run home? Probably not, and if it did...would it last for long? Trust me, anger starts to well up in me. I punch a pillow, sit in pity for a minute, yell. Then I remind myself of the above and get busy focusing on what is happy in my life.
I believe in marriage. I believe that the best thing for my kids is to have their parents together, happpy and loving. But, that might not happen. And honestly, if the worse thing that happens in my kids life is that their parents D, then I'm ok with that. I'm working on being the best T I can be. That's all I can do. I do it for me. I do it for my kids.
I get the anger, we all do. But if you want to be happy and have a change at M with your wife, you have to figure out how to process the hurt and not let it continue as anger. Cause Labug is right, anger is about hurt. Anger is just an easier place to live. But way too damaging.
I feel for you, I really do!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
