Well, I will agree that I am angry. I don't think any of this should be happening. I think it is foolish that my W won't even consider making any effort to save the relationship, no last chance, not even a second chance. That is a tough pill for me to swallow. Plus, seeing my D start to spiral out of control makes it even worse. You are darn right. I am ANGRY. However, I think I have made HUGE strides towards hadnling my emotions.
I think it's labug that talks about anger coming from a place of hurt, I'm sure I'll misquote her so hopefully she'll explain it a bit! But what she says makes a lot of sense, we use anger to mask pain and when we operate from a place of anger it can cause a lot of damage to us and to others. We have all suffered pain in our sitches, but we have not all suffered anger. I think pain is beyond our control, we just have to accept it and let it work through us. But anger, that is a choice we make. I know that I have not once been angry towards W, not a single time since BD. Why? Because I know I carry just as much fault (and probably more) in the failing of our M as W does. And I know that she is hurting in this too. It's not easy for her, it's probably the hardest things she's done in her life. Leave her lover of 25 years and tear up her children's home? Can you imagine the pain she must be bearing to make her do such a thing? SHE should be angry at ME!
So try and lose the anger, I think even if you're just venting about it here it is still something you're holding inside that may be blocking you from fully detaching and from being sympathetic towards your W in what she's gone through and is going through.
