I was catching up on your sitch, and wanted to add a few things.
I see some similarities in our H's, except that mine is still at home (though often I wish he weren't!)
I agree w/Snodderly that if he wanted to be done with your R and "move on", he would have already. Nobody's stopping him.
I feel like until our H's figure themselves out, they can't begin to address our M. One definitely has to come before the other.
And the part about telling a close friend...
The one rule of Sandi's 37 rules I have questioned is the one that says we shouldn't seek help from family and friends.
I have two close friends that I confide in. One has no interaction with H, and the other is a mutual friend that he works with.
Initially, I didn't say anything to our mutual friend. In fact, I avoided her because I knew if I started talking, I would spill my guts about everything.
She approached me. I will never forget her words. She said, "I'm worried about H. And to be honest, I'm worried about you too."
She has been my faithful sounding board. She has to witness H and OW's antics at work. She and H have had it out about how rude he has been to her.
I guess my point is that while I definitely think we should be cautious about who we tell and limit the amount of people that know, I also think we should build a good support system for ourselves and take care of ourselves emotionally.
For me, it has been a tremendous help to know that I have people in my life that love me, care about me, and think about me in all of this. After all, I think we spend so much time focusing on our MLCer, it is very easy for us to get lost.
I think it's important to make sure we have people in our lives that will find us when this happens.
I'm right there with ya BR, putting on my big girl pants and high heels too
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
