Renee - your xh is clearly still an angry man - mine was pretty angry for about 5 years, and it is only in the last few months that he has been consistently civil to me (my bomb was 2005) I am still cautious around him, and would not ask any sort of favour.
Don't know about remarriage - I am not sure marriage means very much to them. However I am sure that the OW does nothing at all to help matters.
I think we just have to live our lives out, be civil when they are and ignore them as best we can when not.
I think we represent something to them that they are running from, for a long time, perhaps always. This may be why he has cut all people out of his life that have any connection with you. My xh was very upset that so many of our friends were so upset with him about the way he treated us all.
Ultimately it probably will come and bite them!
Take care - life does get better, but it takes a long time to find our way again.
