Thanks Ruby and Tallula. Going to go to Good Friday mass. I guess it is not guilt or shame so much as I let my kids down. My family too, although they support this measure. It is a sad loss of what could have been great with the 'right' help, but not a loss of an unfaithful W who has issues with lying, control and self-denial.

M17 yrs.
me49
xW47
d15
d11

BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out)
Therapy 9 months (tried 2)
BD2- May/12(sep)
Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50
Sold home - Aug/13
Court #2 - Dec/13
Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again
We settled.