Not confused, still emotional, getting very angry

[BRNR]

First, I want to ask you this...are your friends living your life for you?

No they are not, and while everyone has their opinion, I just tell them "if it were you, you don't know what you would be doing." I know in my case and what I have re-read in my journals and threads, I want to fight for my marriage...I don't feel as if I am done yet, and honestly, I have asked myself that question too. When am I done? Answer. When I am officially divorced. Then and only then can I be in true acceptance that things are over.

If your h truly wanted to move on w/his life, he would have already filed for divorce and would not want to be in your presence. This man has not given any indication that he wants a divorce unless there are other things going on that you haven't posted on the board.

Snodderly, I post true and accurate to the events that happen, which isn't much. The only inclination I have of him truly wanting to move on is from his last email from this past Tuesday, which I posted on this thread verbatim. But even then, his email was cryptic and didn't really say either way "how" he wanted to move forward. And I whole heartedly agree. He can file for divorce at anytime of his choosing, so why hasn't he. This I don't think I will ever be able to understand. Because the actions of him are living like a divorced man, I know, symptoms of MLC, but still hurts and is confusing for the heart.

BTW as a side note. I am thinking about sending the response to this email as you suggest, pretty much verbatim. I haven't done it yet though. I feel as I can't ignore the fact that he tried to open a door of communication. So I think an acknowlegement of it is necessary and true to the person I am. And goes along with something Portia said of keeping the bigger picture/goal in mind and treating H with the compassion I have for others, etc.

So, put on your big girl panties and your high heels and continue walking the path and do not allow anyone to sway you from your course. Only you know what kind of relationship you had w/your h and only you will know if it is worth fighting for. Bottom line, you are the only one that can make the decision to when you've had enough. From what I've read this morning...you aren't ready to call it quits...but that's my personal observation.

I urge you to select one close friend and use that friend as a sounding board and do not discuss your situation w/others as this will make it very hard for h to return home, if you and your opt to reconcile at a later date.

Unfortuneately, I tried to do this, but other problems came up when talking to the chosen few. While originally it was 3-4 people, (none of which my H would ever be around, or has ever), it is now down to one. Can't change the past on this one, but have learned...the hard way.