I get off the boards for a week and OMG, you have had quite a busy time of things! WOW.
I agree with other. Set boundaries for yourself--no sex w H while he's w OW. Have you tried other "options" for relieving the sex drive? I'm just saying...
The "nice" thing is a killer, I have to say. It is much easier to be upset and mad at them when they are acting like jerks.
On the other hand, co-parenting will be much easier if you can remain "friendly" without getting overly friendly and letting your emotions get the best of you.
How many weeks r u now??
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Well, I thought sex and emotion would be a problem for me...it's not lol...I understand where you are..is it cake eating on his part? Yep. But I also think it is on mine as well. I get some, and have none of the drama. Of course, when GF comes back, I may not see him for awhile, because, you know , he's "in a serious relationship" as he tells me.
Ok, I really wasn't debating actually having sex with him. Don't know how I got sidetracked by that. It is a boundary that I set and maintained since we S, except when I let him spend the night 2 weeks ago. So, when he asked if he could stay over for easter, I was wondering if I would be able to decline his advances or if I should not allow it.
We spoke last night about the boundaries. I said he could stay over as long as he would please not try to be affectionate and try to have sex. That I am not in an open marriage. Since I do find it difficult to say no, if he could respect that he could stay over. If it happens again, then we will have no more sleep overs. If OW is out of the picture we can discuss that then. We'll see...
Ruby, yea, I didn't realize you guys were having sex either.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
He agreed to it. Understood, doesn't want to hurt me, blah blah. Like I said...we'll see...
But, just having said it makes me feel strong about it. And, let's face it, I'm pretty an irresistable pregnant woman.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Good to feel strong. Verbalizing our needs can do that.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Yeah, saying it helps. Plus, he flaked out on the kids thursday night. Said he wasn't feeling good. So I had to tell them, again, he wasn't coming. I really just never thought he'd end up "this guy". So, we'll see what happens in the next few weeks. Next time he flakes I'm going to drop them off at his apartment. I know in his head he thinks he's being a good dad. In 2 weeks he has seen them 3 total hours.
S3 said the other day that he doesn't miss daddy, but I'd miss you mommy. We don't have a daddy anymore. Sigh. Sometimes I think being a capable, strong woman has it's drawbacks. H knows I'll pick up the slack, because I just do. That's who I am. Sadly, I just didn't know that he was the type to take total advantage at the expense of his children. But, we all have choices in life. These are his. My kids are blessed to have amazing men in their lives who will give them what they need. Currently, it's not their father. So, I will count my blessings that I have wonderful people who love us, and not focus on the one that can't show us the love we deserve. The universe will provide us what we need. Who am I to question what it looks like. It just is.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Oh, and that was suppose to be "I'm a pretty irresistable pregnant woman" Damn straight!! FYI-when I did slip up 2 weeks ago, I was protected. I was only half dumb...
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
