Time for the Loop the Loop on this rollercoaster!

[SM34]

Sandi, here is a quick update on the progress on my 180s.

I am still managing to come home between 5pm and 5.30 even with the launching of my third retail store. I have established a new chain of command that allows me to be flexible with my hours. I even hang out at home until 9 or 10 almost everyvday instead of the 8.30 start I used to do. So cut back from 8.30 to 7pm to 10qm to 5.30pm, and at he same time expanded my business. Not too shabby!

The projects around the house that were started but notfinishedbeen taken care of. I have even been working on a new one....a beautiful back yard play area afor d3 .

Looking like a business owner was another complaint. All new work shirts and shoes, pants, always clean shaven and smelling good. New cologne that I picked out instead of my wife always getting cologne for me.

Being more complimenting is going really well. When I see my wife do something I like, or wear something cutything psitive that I feel happy about, I make it a point to stop her and show her that I noticed.

Validating her feelings is going real well too, thanks to everyone's help (especially Anotherstander who should be known as Mr Validate ! Lol )

Overall I think our interactions are going very positively. We enjoy time together, and she is no longer hostile...ever. she initiates phone calls sometimes during work hours. Also the other day she fixed my collar before I left for work, something she always did but hadn't done since BD. She also stuck her finger in my eye to remove a fallen eye lash while we were out in public. I think both of these things indicate she is caring again, right? Maybe not...its not clear, but I think its a baby step. One of my goals is/was for her to initiate physical touch.

The negatives are that she is still applying for jobs supposedly so she can afford to move out. Although I don't sense an urgency in the matter. Also she is still going to see OM. A friend of hers told me wife said she needs a job not just so she can move out, but so if she decided to stick around she can help with our finances because I had 'carried the burden on my own for so many years'.

On GAL, I have been to another meditation session, I have reconnected with the first guy I met when I moved to USA, and have gone out a few times with this friend. Also hung out with he and his wife and new baby who is so precious! Reminds of the good old days when D3 was a baby.

Also taken D3 to do lots of new stuff like feed the horses, the zoo, different parks around town etc...

Feeling eerily detached now. I still love my wife but I don't feel a panic when she hints that her plan is still in effect. However she does sometimes say things that contradict her stated plan, like when she says we need an outdoor play area for daughter so she can play while we relax and hang out in the afternoons. This doesn't sound like moving out. Who knows anymore.

I went to give her a hug the other dy and she lent in and kissed me on the cheek. I think she thought I was going to kiss her not hug her, but she did not seem to mind after the fact.

Not sure what progress would look like from here. Also don't have clear goals anymore since the old ones have been accomplished already. I think its time for another phone coaching session to adjust the approach.

It's true that 180 alone will not end an affair. Sandi, you had said once that the WAW will not usually turn around unless she experiences a loss. Not sure what kind of loss she could have but I guess if she was to move out then she may feel the loss or our friendship and companionship. Just brainstorming here..

Any comments or sugggestions? How am I doing?