Journal: H came over to finally share finished taxes. I emailed him this am that I was making chili if he wanted some when he got here (his fav dinner) and he said yes. H showed up at dinner time and we actually had the first family dinner in over 7 months. H enjoyed, said dinner was great he was craving chili... kids were funny, good conversation, it was NORMAL.
Then he talked to D15 on couch while I loaded dishwasher, nice to see her opening up to him a little. She has to plan her school schedule for next year and he actually participated. I remember being the only one having those conversations with kids for the past 4 years they've had to register for high school classes.
Then we reviewed taxes and I was totally unconcerned about anything, just said "I trust you. If you think it's done let's file". It's not worth worrying about and I didn't feel like critiquing the completed job.
I asked him about his second job & he said he was still cutting back for April at least. I told him I didn't think it was worth the stress to continue working there, but it's his decision & I'm sure it will work out.
I did not do any R temp checks! Closest I got was asking about his plans to move down here (he lives 45 min away). Said he's been working so much he hasn't had time to look & was still planning on it in a few months. We talked about d15 & I was worried about her next year when d17 leaves & she'll be alone so much. He said when he has his own apt he can have d15 over to 'hang out'. He pointed out to me that he's been "very generous" financially and we'll have to make some adjustments for him to afford the move. I just agreed & said yes, you've been generous. I wanted to ask - have you consulted with an atty? Because you're right in the ballpark of what you'll be paying - but I didn't.
In the past 9 months, tonight was the most NORMAL family night ever. Last year we would have watched tv next & got in the hot tub at dark & it would be a totally normal night. H seemed very relaxed and comfortable. But then he left... which makes the whole NORMAL situation so messed up!!
I can't stop thinking now - is that what you were running away from? Our perfectly relaxed and comfortable home with our daughters?
I am really having a hard time digesting this tonight. If there was any trace of tension or discomfort it'd be easier to see him leave, but it just didn't feel that way. Blows my mind. But at least I know I am/was comfortable in my home and if this isn't what he wants then he's a fool because I had a lovely evening with my family.
I don't know. Highs and lows tonight. But it's done... and the wine helps.
