My husband of almost 12 years has left me twice in 8 days. He stated that he doesn't feel anything for me anymore. He claims that we feel more like roommates then a couple. Not sure what to do or where to go from here.
Me: 33 H:33 M: 11 yrs S: 3/8/13 H came home: 3/10/13 S for second time: 3/16/13
Well welcome to the forum...read all you can on here...take time...be understanding of what he is saying, do not beg, argue, plead, make him feel guilty...take a breath...relax...
I have not been doing this long...so try to read Sandi's list of don'ts and do's on the forum and try to take a step back if you can to calm yourself...
Immediately get Divorce Remedy. start reading ASAP. Or if you don't have an e-reader as findingself said start reading the threads here in newcomers.
Also take a moment to go to Michele's YouTube page.
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
I've been reading Divorce Remedy. I'm really struggling. That's why I'm here. Today I was told that he is happy and he's considering dating. I'm shocked and hurt.
Me: 33 H:33 M: 11 yrs S: 3/8/13 H came home: 3/10/13 S for second time: 3/16/13
Last night was rough. I was feeling so angry at my H. Today it has been 11 years since we lost our first son to a lung malformation. This is the first year that I'm facing this alone. I feel like my H is doing everything he can to hurt me. Even though he's already done that by leaving us.
Me: 33 H:33 M: 11 yrs S: 3/8/13 H came home: 3/10/13 S for second time: 3/16/13
I could use some advice. I've been trying to LRT with my H. It's very difficult because we have two children under the age of 10. Today I decided that I wasn't interested in communicating with him, so I've ignored all his communications. He was supposed to pick our children up at 10am for a movie and dinner with his family. At 7:30 tonight, he sent a message stating that he's changing the time he's picking them up. Which means that I have to change my plans for dinner. I'm not comfortable with responding at the moment. I'm too angry. Am I doing the right thing?
Me: 33 H:33 M: 11 yrs S: 3/8/13 H came home: 3/10/13 S for second time: 3/16/13
Separated-sorry you are here. Make sure you take care of yourself. I'm new to the forum, but have been in my situation since December & can tell you that when I was finally able to think somewhat clearly & take care of myself & start GALing I was immediately in a better state of mind.
It may get worse before it gets better. Stay strong & continue to post. It feels better once you are to release your thoughts.
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12
Today, my H picked up the kids for a little. I dressed in a decent outfit and put on some makeup. When he got here, I grabbed my coat and asked what time he'd be bringing the kids back so I knew when to be home. IT WORKED!!!! He thought I had a date. He noticed my outfit and the fact that I had makeup on. When he dropped off the kids, he didn't come in the house though. Is this progress or is it a setback? I could really use the advice of someone who's been through the LRT...
Me: 33 H:33 M: 11 yrs S: 3/8/13 H came home: 3/10/13 S for second time: 3/16/13
Today, my H picked up the kids for a little. I dressed in a decent outfit and put on some makeup. When he got here, I grabbed my coat and asked what time he'd be bringing the kids back so I knew when to be home. IT WORKED!!!! He thought I had a date. He noticed my outfit and the fact that I had makeup on. When he dropped off the kids, he didn't come in the house though. Is this progress or is it a setback? I could really use the advice of someone who's been through the LRT...
First, drop the expectations. You have expectations that one little thing like this might change the dynamics and possibly make him change his mind. It won't. This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. You're going to need to do 180's on your faults in the M and give your H time and space. Expect it to take many months before you even start to see positive signs. We all come here initially expecting quick fixes. None of us ever gets one. Read the signatures of the people posting here, many have been at it for 6 months to a year. Some longer. Just slow down, take a deep breath, relax. Read DR. Develop your plan- 180's and GAL activities. Work on yourself. Good luck!
It's so hard to drop the expectations. I want so badly for him to come home. I'm trying very hard to GAL and do 180's, but I'm not sure exactly what my faults are in the M. I can only speculate what went wrong.
Me: 33 H:33 M: 11 yrs S: 3/8/13 H came home: 3/10/13 S for second time: 3/16/13
