Well SG you have to ask yourself just how long can you live like this. Seems like our sitchs have some similarities. Do you think rhat you could ever trust your W again? It isn't easy but it can be done IF she wants to R which it doesn't sound like she wants right now.
It sounds to me like she can live like this forever. As far as her scratching your head well to me it's like she is giving you scraps.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out