Holy cow! Tonight I just got a call from W. She first said that the home phone had died and that's why there was no communication for a week. They had to buy a new one. Then she asked if I had time to talk. I told her I'll listen while she talks. She called it quits with OM. She said I was right about her "wandering without direction" and she went for the closest male to give her what I haven't. She said that she's been mad at me for many years and she feels like I've let her down. I told her that I understand how she feels and don't blame her and I did not intend to hurt her, but I failed and want to learn from my failure either with or without her. She said she had gone out of town to a girlfriend's to just disconnect from things and have time to think(that would be the other week of non-communication).
I kept my cool and didn't get over-excited and simply used it as time to validate her feelings and apologize for all the specific things that has hurt her through the years. I told her I don't expect this phone call to fix things, but I needed to apologize. I also told her of what I shared with M1 about "looking in the window." She said I was on the right track with how she's felt. Also about the "stuff," she doesn't want it cause it represents the emotional neglect. M1, you were spot on with that. I told her that I apologize for putting possessions before her emotional needs.
She's still moving into a smaller flat due to money (which will help her and me in the long run), and I said I was considering coming up in May. She asked if it would be possible to come up the same time as her move so I could help. I said I'd consider it. I ended the conversation with a "thank you for telling me this" and "it was good talking with you" and wished her a good night.
I definitely didn't see this coming. However, the W I spoke with sounded like the W I used to know. I'll keep learning though. I'm not out of the woods by a long shot!
