^same here. Mine thrived on the attention from others when she went out. Any compliment I made was met with, "you're my husband, you have to...."
FY, mine wasn't supported by her parents like she should've been. She also suffered/suffers from low self esteem. I truly believe a lot of her problems now are directly caused by these two things.
I find myself thinking about how she/they can change how they view us. My W isn't attracted to me at all right now (no physical changes since we married. I'm the same weight, no gray hair, no hair leaving, been told I look younger than her). I assume its because I'm in the parent role to her. How do they move beyond that projection to desire us again?
Hi Mn.
Like you, I pretty much still look the same as I always have. Even W acknowledges this. So in our cases, (and most MLC cases I would guess) it has nothing to do with the physical.
How do they move beyond this? I believe it will only be through time and perspective, and them working through their issues, which we have no control over. While it seems there is nothing we can do to turn around their lack of desire for us, I’m sure there is plenty we could do that would make it worse. The fact that my wife is still here after more than a year of wanting to run away, tells me I’m on course. But it does sometimes seem like an awfully long course to be on!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
