I noticed the thing about the compliments long ago, also. When H began his replay stage and was still telling me some things that went on, he talked about compliments he would get from women while he was out and his whole face would light up.
Looking at it now, I see even now, there's a sameness to the things we as spouses at home can do or say. My H is battling with this now. On the one hand, it provides a high level of comfort. OTOH, well, it's the same. It's you. You may have made some changes, but it is still you. And there isn't much you can do about that. You can never be "new" again even if you have a "new" M.
How many times has my H looked at me and said "we've known each other for 17 years." and we worked together and were friends before that.
So....I figure there must be something else that provides the spark here. Is it time? Perspective? Wanting the "old" and "comforting" finally...an acceptance of the fact that our WAS can never find the same R with any one else "out there"?
Just rambling and musing....
I think you are doing great, FY. Did the classes start yet?
When your W comes back, she won't be able to believe she tried to walk away from the gem you are!
She will be like the slave who had a person buy his freedom and then served him out of gratitude the rest of his life.
Keep going! rH
Thanks. Great thoughts there, RH.
Yes, comfort and security, I’ve been told I offer that. Also shared history… But she doesn’t feel the hots for me. If these feelings ever turn around, I believe it will be because of the time and perspective thing you mentioned.
TKD classes are due to start April 9th. I don’t have enough peeps signed up yet, but HR tells me I will.
“She will be like the slave”
You know, as my mind wanders I could see that working quite well several times a week!
Oh, and I was put on moderation because I posted a link. My posts may take a while to show up.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
