Time for the Loop the Loop on this rollercoaster!

[SM34]

Thank you for the responses everyone. I think I sent out the wrong message by asking for help from all of you on dealing with wife's depression. It came across as attachment, when really it is concern. Remember, detaching doesn't mean you don't care, it only means her actions do not influence my mood.

So since I do actually care, that is why I am concerned. I don't have experience with depression and have never even had a close family member with depression. All I know is that she is the mother of ky child and I don't want her to hurt herself, and that scares the he11 out of me!

This is not attachment or co dependcy, this is caring.....

Sandi I keep meaning to make time to answer your question about the prescription but I never seen to have time since I am GALing and doing home projects for D3. But the short version is that her therapist that wrote the prescription (through the MD in her office) does not see any negative 'medicinal response'. This is the same therapist that prescribed the meds the first day she net my wife, so really does not have so much prior behavior to compare her current behavior with.

When I spoke with the therapist, she told me that life has a lack of permenance and I would be wise to start learning to deal with that. When I asked her of her marital status, it turns out she is divorced....no shock there.

Wife is not going to see her any more, but somehow her prescription still gets refilled. Not sure if she just calls the therapist or what. I haven't asked wife because as you all know, suggesting to wife that the meds caused this mess would be a big mistake.

By the way, just to reiterate again, my position on the meds is not that they caused this. It is that they are aiding my wife to not 'give a damn', which is EXACTLY what anti depressants are designed to do. And they are working wonderfully in that respect.

Wife was weaning off but I saw a brand new bottle the other day so it may be that she couldn't handle the anxiousness without the meds and then upped the dose a little closer or back to the original prescription dose.

For those of you who have read my previous thread, you may remember that I offended people by suggesting that prior exposure to divorce through parents, was a contributing factor to WAS thinking divorce was a good solution to their problems. A barrage of responses came in about how offensive that is.

Only 25yearsmlc thought that it made sense. And actually she pointed out that MWD subscribes to this theory too, as she mentions it in her book and also in the walk away spouse video she has that you can see on YouTube.

Anyway I looked up the stats. 50 percent is the average divorce rate for first marriages right? Well here is the rest of the picture. The divorce rate is much lower, more like 20 percent in segments of the population who are religious and do not have divorced in their family.

When one spouse is from a broken home, the divorce rate is 50% higher than the average rate, making it about 75%.

When BOTH spouses are from broken homes, the divorce rate is triple the average!

So the average rate of 50% is only when you average the numbers from couples with no divorces in their family, with one spouse from broken home, and with two spouses from broken home.

I can't post the link because I was put on moderation already for outside links before. But it wasn't hard to find if anyone is interested in the numbers. Like I said before, if you don't think that the example your parents set for you or your spouse is factoring into your sitch, then you are in denial. No need to be offended, its just the honest truth. In fact, we shouldn't be taking offense to this because we are all here to try to break the cycle. We want our kids to have the good example that some of us didn't have. And that, is an honorable position....which requires you to be honest with yourself about the effect of your parents divorce on your own understanding of marital commitment.

Sunday we are planning an easter egg hunt for D3 at MIL house, followed by easter feast. Can't wait....drooling just thinking of the food.