Even though I know the "rules" I had a talk with her today just to check a couple of things you have said!
Happy to say you are right about a couple of things. We both decided to work better toghether reguarding our children. We both agreed that step son ( he was naturally also involved in the decicion) is going to live with me every other week.
So a win win reguardless.
She thinks everything is tough right now. Life. But she still thinks she is ok and she is happy that I am there for the kids.
As for the letting go part... I wish myself good luck!