X demands full custody because I'm engaged, Part 2

[sleeper]

Forward, your speculations are spot on. I also didn't realize how integral OMH was in my children's lives and learned yesterday DS doesn't remember when they met as well (he was 5). DD immediately chimed in X and OMH, "didn't cheat." I thought that was odd and believe either X has filled her head with that untruth or DD has thought things through herself and in some sort of denial. (she was 7 and is a female, more attuned to such matters than DS).

There are many dynamics and issues that have been triggered by our engagement beginning with X and now occurring with our children because the wedding is drawing nearer either/and/or aggrevated by X. There have also been misunderstandings I'm trying to clear up like the belief "we" will live in fiance's tiny house. Kids believed that to be case and I'm sure they told X and she whipped up why that would never work and therefore was a "no go". Im having to learn exactly what the issues TRULY are, separate fact from fiction and set things straight without damaging kids with too much truth in the process.

As far as X's motivations (do they even matter?): She never wanted me dating anyone with kids, even tried to fix me up with childless women. She has control issues and has always been jealous of time our kids spent around fiancé. Counselor I saw last week who has known X and I for years (her longer) says X still loves me (example: X offered to fix me a dinner she cooked "to go" when I picked up kids the other day). I declined. As I told counselor I don't need to try to figure out X's situation BUT it's as if she still wants me there in "limbo" for her, she's in mlc and knows it on some level, she has fears of blended family issues generated by her own childhood experiences OR she is just the world champion cake eater she has been since we split up.

I was just struck by the irony of her very emotional recent concern that DS feels he is "losing me as a father" to X's children WHILE telling me my own kids don't want to live with me and fiance's kids with the veiled, ever present threat she will take me to court for the purpose of taking them from me. (twist on that)

Yep, could be trying to "hinder" the relationship with fiancé. And would probably like nothing more than to achieve just that while maintaining her own status quo.

"It's a fine madness."