I do have an C (one of the db gurus associated with this site), but the expense prevents me from talking but about once a month. I've thought about changing to a new one that's a little less expensive. It helps.
I haven't been this way in a long time. I know it's due to the thought of her actually going out with someone last weekend. It's very hard for me to accept that may have happened.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
I am pro-AD, it has really helped me get through this, along with a good therapist (which I didnt realize was hard to find).
The AD can really really help.
Sounds like you need a babysitter so you can have a guy day, where you do some fun guy stuff like ride motorcycles or see a band or go to a sporting thing.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Sounds like you need a babysitter so you can have a guy day, where you do some fun guy stuff like ride motorcycles or see a band or go to a sporting thing.
Or a date with a real live girl Might do you some good MM. I haven't been on what I would call DATE date: I've just invited a few female colleagues or their friends to events that I would have normally taken W...0h I forgot, she insisted I never took her anywhere, ever! Sorry, I'm the LBS, so I'm automatically wrong o this point. Any who, its all strictly platonic (so far ) and it feels real nice to spend some time with a female of the species every once in a while who isn't trippin b@lls crazy. J.
Me42 W41 D10,D15 T25 M23 LYBNILWY 09/12 OEA 08/12(?)-ended? 01/13 Sep 01/13 I file 04/13 1rst D hearing 06/13 Currently in mediation
Sounds like you need a babysitter so you can have a guy day, where you do some fun guy stuff like ride motorcycles or see a band or go to a sporting thing.
Or a date with a real live girl Might do you some good MM. I haven't been on what I would call DATE date: I've just invited a few female colleagues or their friends to events that I would have normally taken W...0h I forgot, she insisted I never took her anywhere, ever! Sorry, I'm the LBS, so I'm automatically wrong o this point. Any who, its all strictly platonic (so far ) and it feels real nice to spend some time with a female of the species every once in a while who isn't trippin b@lls crazy. J.
She did not mention women or dating but it's interesting that you did.
Sorry b/c I don't know your whole situation, but what is YOUR GOAL here?
Is it to save the marriage?
B/C if it is, then still calling your wife names here (trippin' balls crazy"...b/c she left a great guy or what??)
anyhow, name calling at this point means you are not working nearly enough on YOUR OWN STUFF...and that will NOT help you CHANGE YOUR LIFE or stop sounding bitter, and it won't help you save the m...
AND NOR will dating
or pretending to date...or tempting yourself to date...seems like an odd game to me.
Do these OWs know that you are not available for anything real at this time and that you have not healed?
And if your goal is NOT saving the marriage but something else, what is it?
To GAL?
Do you think you have to have a woman to GAL?
If so, you misunderstand the purpose of GAL.
Besides, no offense, but the more rapidly a man looks to replace his mate just so he can have a woman on his arm, WHILE still looking over his shoulder to see if his WAS notices...the sadder he seems to me.
Just my take on it..
Plus, I think you are reacting to your emotions
INSTEAD of behaving in line with your plan/goal. Avoid doing that.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thanks everyone. I'm going to talk to a dr today about an AD. I think I'm at that point.
J, I know how you feel about having an ow to spend time with. That's one thing I'm not willing to do, though I find myself thinking about it during weak moments. I remind myself that most ow that would be interested in me, with the situation, are no better than the trash taking advantage of my W.
Marriage is something very special to me and God. I plan on staying true to my vows, physically and emotionally. To do otherwise puts me in the same place as my spouse. I won't do that to her or my children. I had a talk with my pastor about it last week. It's normal to have a desire for female companionship. I miss it too. Heck, it's normal to wonder, like our spouses have, what it would be like to cheat or be single again. You just can't act on those feelings. You're usually over them in ten minutes.
I'm lucky, in that, I haven't seen anything that comes close to my W. One ace she always has is that the two most important people in the world to me love her as much as I do. There will never be anyone who can take her place with them, even if I could find someone to take her place for me.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
I'm glad you have decided to see a physician and possibly get on ADs. I think they will help you for a while.
I am very happy to read that you think marriage is special to you and God. Your marriage is worth fighting for, but it's going to take a lot of hard work and patience to get you through the days to come.
Sounds like you have a wonderful wife and I do hope that she comes through her crisis and realizes what a wonderful husband she has.
Good luck today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Might do you some good MM. I haven't been on what I would call DATE date: I've just invited a few female colleagues or their friends to events that I would have normally taken W...0h I forgot, she insisted I never took her anywhere, ever! Sorry, I'm the LBS, so I'm automatically wrong o this point. Any who, its all strictly platonic (so far 
) and it feels real nice to spend some time with a female of the species every once in a while who isn't trippin b@lls crazy. J.