Almost two years and still stuck in limbo

[newman7977]

Hi all:

I thought of a little update on my sitch. So after contemplating going dark I realized I can't go dark because of the kids and we're still living in the same roof. I did changed things up a bit though, I'm not initiating contact at all, kept reminding myself not to let W bother me with her actions.

Sometimes though my resentments take over and that I feel I get too cold, so I'm trying to find a balance. I don't want to be rude to W. Anyway, looks like its going to be like this until she decided to move out because I won't--I still feel the same I don't want my kids to feel that I moved out and abandoned them. Right now I do feel strong enough that I don't think it will affect me much if W files for D. Actually, a lot of times I feel like I'd rather have closure. That's where my feelings are at right now.

I continue to focus with kids, last week I spent 3 days with them and visited my sister for spring break, W didn't go. I had a great time with the kids, I'm really used to this now, going out with my kids without the W, this is a big 180 for me and it feels good because this is for me and my kids.

Last weekend my in laws had a gathering I didn't go. W was surprised I didn't go. If I would've went that would be the same of the old thing. Plus I didn't want to pretend anymore that everything is still ok with us for her family. This coming weekend is Easter and my inlaws will have a big gathering...I'm torn on this one I feel like not going but feels bad for my kids, I don't want them to worry but then again this is reality. Ahhh tough call I've got to think about this one.

Newman