I think I just had my first lesson in not reacting in anger! And I think I did pretty darn well!

H came over as planned and even took my garbage down to the street. He is distant but I had the opportunity to share d17 senior pics with him and I know he appreciated it. I've been selfishly hoarding all the pics since we had them done last fall.

Made plans for d17 surprise bday party he slipped up and mentioned the event in front of her. Later he texted and said he felt stupid & sorry but I told him 'it's okay, she'll still turn 18. smile And she doesn't know any details, we can still surprise her!'

Then he asked if his friend that he's been living with can come to party. This is where I nearly reacted in anger and said h*ll no!! I reached out to his friend one time last fall and he was not supportive of me at all. And he's a confirmed bachelor and has never supported marriage.

But I did what my db coach said to do & asked if I can get back to him about that ... Then after the anger died down, I'm able to see that H's friend had been supportive to my family in a way by housing H. Plus friend would be there for d17 and my reasons for not inviting him are selfish. And lastly, it would be the biggest opportunity for me to demonstrate change - even if it kills me inside.

So I'm going to sleep on it, but think I'll even go one step further and invite H's friend myself.

What do I tell the part of my brain that says I am making this waaayyy too easy on H with all this acceptance? It hurts!!!!

M: 40
H: 43
D15, D17
M: 22 years
S: 7/12