How didn't her parents support her? Was she one of many children?
Also, how do you know she was pleased when her dad offered praise? I think she also appreciates your praise, but does not want to acknowledge it in front of you. She's pushing away the people closest to her due to her internal pain.
My wife was the only girl, with two older half brothers and one younger full brother.
Mom was bitter with her life, mean and abusive to the entire family. She made life at home miserable for everyone. Dad was busy making money, fighting with Mom, or staying out of her way. Wife hated coming home as a child, but was also somewhat of an outcast at school, so hated that too. When she met me at 16, I fell in love with her and became her rescuer.
Early after bomb drop (and after her Mom's death) I heard "Why did Mom have to be so mean" and "No one ever told me I could excel at things, make something of myself, except you... and that's different". (like I "have to" stick up for her because I'm her H, or maybe I only do it to get my needs met)
A few months back, when I made an off the cuff joke about a particular H supporting his W, Dad commented on how his daughter works, and can support herself. W loved hearing Dad acknowledge this, and commented to me about it later.
Absolutely she's in a lot of pain. More than me, I imagine.
Quote:
Hang in there, FY. You're showing strength, compassion, and true love.
Thank you so much. It really helps to hear this.
I try to visualize that one day my wife will feel good about herself, look back and see what we have has been good, and can only get better.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
