Thanks everyone for the advice...initially I was going to respond very shortly as everyone suggested, sorry you feel that way, blah, blah, blah....but, he pulled the inner b!tch out of me when he stopped by to pick up the boys this afternoon, and I realized " wait, why am I responding to this selfish a hole again". So no response from me. I filed it in the marriage folder in my email account.
So the reason for b!tch mode. S14 has a few soccer games on Wednesday...s9 also has martial arts class...at the same time, and guess what, it is H's night. He asked me what should "we" do. I told him as politely as I could muster..."oh I don't know what you should do as it is your night, so..."
So...1,2,3, I can feel the tantrum getting ready to come my way, and frankly, I don't care. H will have to deal with things not always going his way...he even tried to soften the "blow", by stating that on my Saturday's he has no problem picking up my son for soccer. Thank god I responding to that first by saying I could handle it.
What are these mlc'ers thinking? Sheesh.
The way I see it, they are no longer our support system, why should we be there's... I have been scared to get to this point for financial reasons, H has been very good with keeping up with the finances for "our" life, but I guess at some point it was bound to happen.
Pray for me everyone. I am going off the db'ing path and need to get back on. While I didn't blow my lid this time, I felt as if I could have. Thank god for the distraction of the children.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
H just dropped back the kids...I reigned it in...but, I can't say the H did...I guess a door slamming in my face is the start of the tantrum...
I really hope I get better...as I almost feel the shift of the "I don't give a d@mn" coming on...ugh!
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
If Mr. Poopy Pants wants to act like a baby and have a tantrum, let him. He's the one who looks foolish and immature.
Slamming doors? What's next? Maybe he could be like my two year old, and flop himself down on the ground face first when he doesn't get his own way. Wouldn't that be quite a sight!
Ignore him. Blowing your lid only makes you look bad, and why give him the satisfaction?
If all else fails, just give him the finger when he's not looking. It's my go to, and it feels so good sometimes!
Hang in there!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Is it wrong that I feel his actions are laughable...I mean what does he want from me? To bend over backwards for him, give me a break. I feel he caused this situation, and is doing nothing to fix this situation...it strikes me funny that our spouses feel that they have been wronged in some way when us LBS' s are getting the shaft. I am getting such great pleasure right now knowing life is not going according to his liking, wrong I know, but these MLC'ers hold the keys to fix things and they choose not to even pick them up...ha!
Okay, I need to come back down to reality, but I feel more myself when I feel these emotions. I believe my H's email shook me for a little, but knowing it is all part of their play book got me over it...real quick.
I am really letting go of him, i know this because I feel more confident, feel happier, and feel strong, and honestly, it feels more like a new beginning for me.
I can't wait to share this new me with someone, I am and have always been a great woman.
So I just found out a local group does DivorceCare sessions. I have never, ever been to anything of the sorts and don't know what to expect, but I want to go at least once and see what I can pick up from the shared experiences, but am nervous it will be a bit of a downer for my PMA. It says it is for separated and divorced people, but I don't know anything about the driving force behind these groups (i.e. saving marriages or throwing in the towel, etc). Well, at least it will keep me out of trouble, I got asked to go to dinner tomorrow by two different guys, and I am really trying to avoid that, even though I could use the male attention.
Off to bed, I had a long day between double duty at work, lingering over the email H sent and his antics tonight
Another day down....
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
Wishing may be able to share some info on the DivorceCare sessions. I believe she has been attending them.
Yes, your h is not able to multi-task and wanted help with the boys and their various activities going on at the same time. Little does he know or even recognized that you've been multi-tasking for a very long time and doing everything on your own.
As for his temper tantrums, just shake your head and walk away. Eventually you will get to the point that you can actually laugh about them.
As TS has pointed out, don't react to his antics in front of him. Beat the crap out of pillow after he's gone or as she pointed out, give him the finger once the door is shut.
I do hope today is a better day for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
AJ, where you at buddy? Ah, spring break? Hopefully you are doing something great...have a nice one!
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
Thanks Snodderly, so far so good. I feel really good today. Here is to the up!
Nothing to report really...h picked up the boys as usual this morning, but had a guy in the car as well. Guess he is starting to introduce the kids to his friends...ugh! I didn't ask, almost don't care...it is bound to happen.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
So, H just asked me about my receipt of his email...ugh! I think my response should be that I never got. Anyone?
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
Maybe tell him that you received it (and thank you, insert compliment of some sort here to acknowledge the effort and all) and you are going over it, thinking about what you feel and think...and you are not ready to respond at the moment... ?
That's what I would do, 2.5 cents and all...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
