Suckerpunch stage 3

[25yearsmlc]

I am guilty of the same. However, in this situation friend did not discuss this with me. He saw what was happening, felt that she was taking advantage of a situation and let her know how HE felt. Regardless, it worked in the same manner. The implications fell right on me and I paid the price.

which is why we say to Keep the Road Home, Paved & Smooth" which means, in part, STFU about our situations. I am amazed your friend thought he had the right to speak like that to her,

especially if he knows how you treated her all those years....or did you not mention that part to him?

See, NOW she'll feel forced to discuss HER version of things to more people and regain HER self respect and repair damage to her reputation that he is apparently making look bad and THAT will cement both of you into more entrenched positions...

W has now set forth to tell everyone of our friends that her intentions are to file and that she was already making arrangements.


how do you KNOW this??^^^ What does "tell EVERYONE" mean? And do you care if she tells people? I mean it can't feel good

but it means nothing to me.

Naturally now she is defending herself, (thank your buddy for that again) and of course she feels compelled now to prove that she was "RIGHT TO LEAVE" and not wrong, like your friend tried to make her out to be....

She has been searching for houses, gathering her divorce paperwork and preparing for the inevitible. She expressed to the friend, the one that vented on her, that I (suckerpunch) either had to cough up the support or turn a blind eye and continue allowing her to live in our current situation. It is kind of what I was suspiscous of....gut feeling.

let me get this straight. You are STILL communicating with your "Friend"

and HE is telling you what SHE said to him?

And you think it's all accurate and a fair representation of what she said?

AND you think what she told him while she felt attacked by him/you, is never going to change???

Do you want to get a hot poker and stick it in your eye now? That will feel good...



I don't know if I could have turned this thing around if I had started DBing better int he beginning, or if i had not done so much damage myself.


yeah, I don't know either.

I DO Know that it's not over. I have family members who divorced and remarried. Stop rushing to give up. What MUST you decide today? NOTHING...

How does GIVING UP benefit you or your d?

This is your pride talking...can you hear it?


Unfortunately, this one appears unsaveable. I will continue to keep on keeping on.

really? Tell me about how you're going to keep on...what does that mean? Be specific.

Remember "pay no attention to what they say and only half of what they DO"???

What happened to that mantra? I KNOW you've heard it 100 times...


I am handling myself better than I would have in the past. I have not lashed out at her or made any demands or accusations

well, thank GOD For that. WHat "demands or accusations" are there to be made?

You want to REACT AGAIN

to something you think she said and meant every word of, and always will mean, permanently...NOW?

Why on earth can't you just GAL and focus on YOU and not worry about what she is planning?

You are not risking much financially by just staying the course.

Am I missing something? How are you being screwed with this situation?


....and I just got home from a nice motorcycle ride, GAL....I guess we will know how this will all play out soon enough.

exactly...so stay the course, you need "do" nothing.

Just be the NEW IMPROVED You and give her some dang time without someone confronting her about her private personal decisions.

And set a boundary NO "FRIEND" ought to talk to her again about her choices.

And you need to step up to the plate and 'splain' to your nosey buddy that you blew it in the marriage,she had good reason to leave

and NOW YOU are awake. The LAST thing you need is some other dufus losing HIS temper on her on your behalf -which is just what it looks like...and

when you are trying to show mature calm change, and the ability to resolve conflict in a loving healthy way, you need to own your role in how you got here, with ANYONE Like him so he shuts up...

for goodness sake, not one of my friends or family to this day, has told h off or said anything snotty to him back then...and believe me, they were tempted.