Hello From Tokyo! Husband has issues....

[MrBond]

"I told him that was pretty mean and if its a joke its not very nice to say to someone."

And what was his reaction? Next time, phrase it this way..."I felt hurt when you said that and I what I wanted was some understanding because I felt bad."

"Verbal abuse [censored]! Emotional abuse [censored] even more!"

Could it be that you're taking some of his joking responses a little too seriously because you are still filled with resentment? A phrase like "thats such a stupid question" could be interpreted different ways. However, if you felt like he implied that YOU were stupid, then you should tell him.

One thing my W held against me was one incident where I thought she was really acting bad. I asked her "why are you acting like a bitch"? She interpreted that as me saying she WAS a bitch. Which I didn't mean at all. I wanted to know why she was ACTING that way. There is a difference.