All boils down to what you're willing to accept right now.
It's hormones. They do tend to play tricks on the mind and body - and you acknowledge that.
Big question: would you have put up with this when you weren't prego? Not to be preachy, because I'm the last one with a right - your kids are so close together has your body even fully recovered from the first two? Physically wise, I've read that it takes two years for a woman's body to recover from child birth. I have no real idea how long it takes for the hormones to normalize...
All boils down to what you're willing to accept right now.
Yep. That's the deal. That's what I need to really look at. Honestly, I'm pretty much 75% willing to have sex because I want it since I'm pregnant, and won't cheat. I've always been very sexual, but I'm turbo charged preggo. Where it gets tricky is when my mind wonders to "am I letting him cake eat..." Like am I letting him get away with something. And that's just silly. Most of the time I don't care. I want to get some. I am capable of separating the feelings from sex. Truly.
Originally Posted By: bblake1968
Big question: would you have put up with this when you weren't prego? Not to be preachy, because I'm the last one with a right - your kids are so close together has your body even fully recovered from the first two? Physically wise, I've read that it takes two years for a woman's body to recover from child birth. I have no real idea how long it takes for the hormones to normalize...
Oh, probably not. My hormones are definatley playing a large part. At least in my emotional state. I often wonder if I'd even be standing at this point if I wasn't pregnant. But, I am. I can't change it. So, here we are. You aren't being preachy at all. I put this out there to get others opinions. I've removed the potential drama, ie OWH. I have accepted that OW is still around, so it's not like I'm pretending he isn't still sleeping with her. I'm firm on no moving back unless NC and no moving forward with R. So, I need to really soul search. And I would have to say to him that if he spends the night, no moves. Cause my preggo brain might say yes and it has the potential to hurt me emotionally. For as sick as H is, me saying that would stop him in his tracks. He's gotten that now when I'm saying no sex, it's to protect my boundaries, not an insult to him. Well, at least he has gotten that for a few weeks...
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
God, it was so much easier when he hated me... hahaha. NEVER thought I'd say that. Never.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
hmmph.. Tallulah, u think its just your preggo brain wanting sex? I am having lots of sex dreams. I miss sex. I can't understand how mr. demanding horny hubby is not caving into me. Iknow he can take care of it himself, but is that really enough? I know there isn't another woman. So, how is this even possible for him? His drive was greater than mine!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
hmmph.. Tallulah, u think its just your preggo brain wanting sex? I am having lots of sex dreams. I miss sex. I can't understand how mr. demanding horny hubby is not caving into me. Iknow he can take care of it himself, but is that really enough? I know there isn't another woman. So, how is this even possible for him? His drive was greater than mine!
No, I'd still want sex. It makes it harder for me to turn him down, especially since I can look at it as sex. I never initiate. That's all H. So, do I think I can not do it if he spends the night? That's the question. 50/50, I think. He brought up doing this in a text, so I said I'd think about it. I'd just set that ground rule. Hands off the preggo wife.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I dunno Tallula, sounds like he is cake eating. Its weird that he even brought it up in text. Like its part of his plan. Is he still coming over even if no sex?
Be careful.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
No, haha. Not the sex. Doing the eggs & spending the night. It's the first year both kids will "get it" for Easter. Neither of us wants to miss out. I'm hesitant because when he spend that much time alone, he has become very affectionate & most timed I can resist, but the last time I didn't. There would need to be ground rules & me being honest about my ability to say no. And...do I even want to say no.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I think you should... cuz it sounds like cake eating, especially if he has OW. Why would he EVER come back if he can have 2 women? I wish some affection was tossed my way.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I agree with wfm. Just Say No!! And not just for the Cake Eating aspect, either - as if it isn't enough. I'm not a female, obviously, so I have no clue what the female sex drive while prego is like.
However, I do know what it's like to have to endure months at a time of no sex - it ain't no damn fun!! But, I'd rather do that than put my health at risk if I didn't know where my W has been - and more importantly, with whom... And it's easier for women to catch a disease than for men. Not to mention the act he pulled after the last time was about as classless as one can get, and had a negative emotional impact on you.
Again, not trying to be preachy - but, in the end, is it worth the risks right now?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
