Tx for making me feel better...How often did you do all that? mostly in the beginning? when was your last screw up? Tx for sharing.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Forgot to include the hope. She has but in indirect statements. She'll say things like when I move back in, or lets get a family portrait. She won't push for separation papers or put the house up for sale. She is at our house everyday.
I have to grasp onto those for hope. There are just as many bad signs too. All part of the ride. Today, two little boys are keeping me in this. Someday, that may not be enough.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Most of it was in the beginning. W bd was a little over a year ago. We lived relatively normal until Christmas. Some mistakes have been since then.
My problem today is that my spidey senses are picking up lots of bad vibes since her return on Sunday (weekend trip). She's different, more distant, but arrogant at the same time. Every time before I was right. Bad news followed. Reading people is part of my work, she knows that. It could be as simple as plans this weekend, since it is a long one, but I'm really getting the feeling she had a date while out of town. Adds up when you take into account she had to call home, and they (girls weekend) didnt do any shopping. She would rather shop than eat when's she's hungry.
Hopefully it's my mind getting the best of me. We'll see. One time I hope I'm wrong.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
I can't snap out of it today. Took off work because S6 isn't feeling well, so can't find things to occupy my brain. I'm so disgusted and disappointed with W and what she's become. I wasn't able to hide my being down this morning when she came by. Going to try to do better this evening.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
what did u do, what did u say? or was it just a display of sadness that you can srug off as not feeling well yourself?
((HUGS))
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Just a display. Was sitting on the couch with sickly and I'm sure had a sad look and was too quiet for me. She asked if I was still in an ill mood. I said yes, just can't catch a break. S6 has been catching every bug this school year.
I'm determined to be back to "normal" later.
Thanks for helping. Are you feeling better about your sitch today?
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
a little... I am trying to just let it go (lesson learned) and focus back on the work I have ahead of me (both in business & personal). It truly is exhausting at times.
Will W be around "later"?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
"I can't snap out of it today. Took off work because S6 isn't feeling well, so can't find things to occupy my brain."
Concentrate on your S.
"I'm so disgusted and disappointed with W and what she's become. I wasn't able to hide my being down this morning when she came by."
What did you do?
What have you been doing to put the focus back on you? I'm not talking about things that have to relate to your sitch (venting to friends, reading R books, etc.). I mean, what things have you been doing for fun or just doing for the sake of doing?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Wfm, she is always here except for bed time. Eats supper here every evening, comes by in the morning to finish getting ready.
MB, my primary focus has been playing with my sons. Sports, motorcycles, etc. I haven't found anything that's for me, on my own (so to speak).
W stopped by for lunch. I was able to act like my old self. Blamed my attitude on being tired from dealing with S through the night. Took me a good nap which helped. She looked beautiful. I see enough of the old her to ache when she's around. I miss my best friend.
Thinking about getting on an AD to help me through this. I'm just not able to shake the fear of my family being destroyed. I don't want to be unfeeling like W and be ok with the sitch, but I can't continue this way or I'm no good to anyone.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
