The View from the Blanket III

[Tallula]

"At school today, one of my students had a stress-related breakdown. Then she alluded to problems at home, and she was beating herself up to hold back the tears. She kept apologizing for her tears and kept saying she needs to get herself together and then she'll be fine. She refused to speak any further as she did not want anyone to 'pity' her. I said she should stop apologizing for her feelings, that showing emotion is strength not weakness, that this needs to be released...

It really highlighted to me how much so many of us are conditioned to 'suck it up' and get on with it. When difficult feelings, sadness or hurt occurs, we are 'supposed' to just move on and 'be strong'. We do not learn about emotional health and healthy release of those emotions, we are conditioned to believe that we are weak if we are hurt and happiness should be a constant feeling. We put on 'happy' faces, so that the world knows we are 'in control' and 'just fine' when in reality there is a continuous build up of resentment, pain, loneliness and eventually, anger. I see how passive-aggressive behavior can develop. "

Wow, and so true. This has been revolutionary for me. Just sitting infront of subway today, sobbing in my car instead of holding back and I already feel better. I thought "T, you cried last night, this is ridiculous. Hold it in. Now if I had just gone in the bathroon at work, cried for a minute...bam. Over. I'm grateful I am learning, but dang I hate crying. Ha.

You sound so great, busting!