I understand that "mistakes" are made....like when you make and addition error or subtraction error, affairs on the other hand, no matter how you look at them are "decisions". They are actions that have consiquences.
well - a wrong decision is also a mistake. it might not be like an unintentional math error, because it is a conscious decision, but it is still a mistake when you make the wrong choice.
so tell me, in your past, did you only ever make right decisions? you never made a wrong decision? i.e. anything which, in retrospect, you realize that you should have done differently?
all of us have made wrong decisions about something or other. not necessarily about cheating, of course, but e.g. accepting (or declining) a certain job when we realize later that we should have done the opposite. choosing whether or not to go to college. going somewhere and ending up in an accident. etc. just to give a few of many life decisions where we can make a mistake.
a wrong decision is still a mistake, even if we made the decision ourselves.
Originally Posted By: gman
she still to this day doesn't want to talk about her choice and how it would affect others. the biggest regret that cheaters have...being caught.
forgivness sometimes is not an option if the cheater doesn't even attempt to mend any of the damage they did, they only want to "forget about it"...
so that is the question. has she shown remorse, has she tried to repair the damage?
the main question here: is she trying to repair the damage and you are not allowing her to do so? or is she not even trying?
Originally Posted By: gman
sorry kind of hard to forget that your wife was screwing a guy for 6 months behind your back
no, you can't "forget" it, but if she shows remorse, and tries to repair the damamge (and you allow her to do so), the memories will get dimmer. like any other traumatic event. you would never completely forget about it, but you can reach a situation where the damage is repaired and you think about your present and future, and not the past. like a broken vase that has been successfully glued back together, you might still see the cracks if you look closely, but in general it is doing its job and the cracks are no longer obvious.
