Mana Mana! Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

[Tallula]

Wow, ladies. You have no idea how much that means to me. I'm having a pretty emotional day, and feel less than strong. Icame into work and had misunderstood my boss Monday, and made a mistake with a client...and burst into tears. Haha. My boss was like "um...eh..." He knows what is going on. I've never cried infront of him, even when telling him my sitch. So through the tears I said "I'm pregnant, exhausted and a little overly emotional today. Give me a minute..." Good lord!! Then I just grabbed my phone and texted H:

Me: messed up at work. Started sobbing...I'm going to run away from home.
H: UR pregnant, no crying in baseball.
Me: I'm serious, I'm loading up the kids and heading to Idaho. I'm gonna live off the land. Wait, I'm crap at chopping wood. U come for that.
H: How big was the mistake?
Me: Not big. I hadn't snapped out of a "pathetic" mood, so this just topped it off. Thank for knocking me up, it's really helping me with my goal of being the crazy emotional woman who cries at work.
H: Your welcome. I hate when you are sad
Me:Just read this: There are 2 ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectaions. See, something WANTS me to move to Idaho. I have zero expecations anymore.
H: Does that mean you hate me?
AND THIS IS WHERE I SHOULD HAVE SAID: NO and went back to work...
Me: Of course not. I shouldn't have texted you. I'm sad. I'm exhausted. I'm pregnant. I miss my husband. I miss my best friend. I just cried at work, so I reached out to u. I'm really ok. I just need to have more patience for myself.
H. Well said & I get it. Don't ever b ashamed to be u around me. I'm safe
Me: K. Back to work! There's no crying in the stock market...

I haven't texted anymore. Blarg. I have trouble being vulerable around anyone, but right now with H...hate it. It's a positive that he reacted the with compassion and concern. 2 months ago he screamed at me for crying, but still. I hate it.

Now to detach and stay backed off.

"I have a friend who recommended Al-anon to me even though alcohol is not a problem in my sitch. What do you think? Is it useful in general for learning to detach, even without an alcohol problem?"

Well, it is for each member to decide if they belong. No one would kick you out. Ha. I do believe that the literature would help at a minimum. It is all about detachment and letting other people be themselves and live their lives, regardless of how distructive it is. Go to the website and check it out. google ala-non. We can't link things here.