Thanks T. Fortunately, my allergies are acting up and it made it easier to hide some tears a few times. W and I have sent some non-logistic text msgs this morning.
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More from last night - mostly ramblings...
When we were discussing possible S or D, W also mentioned that we hadn't really tried to work on our R. I didn't tell her the obvious thing that popped into my mid - which was one of us has been. I did ask her what was going on back in September - October. She said she didn't know what I was talking about, and I told her it seemed like she was trying to jump back in like nothing was ever wrong. She said she hoped that would bring back her feelings, but, it didn't happen.
Also asked her about quite a few times when I asked how her day went, or how she was feeling and she just ignored me. W stated she knows it was rude, but, just didn't really want to talk about anything. I understood, but, told her telling me that instead of ignoring me would have been much easier to handle. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but, that little step might have put to rest any anxiety on my part during that time.
W also mentioned getting off of Lexapro - said she doesn't seem to feel any emotion at all. Told her I understood that probably better than anyone else after my battles with AD meds; and that only she could make the decision. W said doc put her on it to help her sleep; but one main side effect is insomnia...
Problem is, she DOES go thru emotions - she's happy at times, things DO make her angry and downright mad.
Overall I'm very confused, and I think W is as well, probably more so than I am.
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D23 and I had a long talk this morning too. She's still very angry at her mom for some stuff in the past (when she was 14 or 15, W told D23 that if she hadn't got pregnant with her, she never would've M'd me), as well as the current sitch (D23 thinks I should've left W last year). I told her again that she needs to discuss her own past issues with her mom, or learn to forgive them - as I wasn't going to be a fixer for this.
Told her I understand her hurt, no child should EVER be told something like that, but, I seriously doubted she intended to blame D23 for her unhappiness. Also reaffirmed that her mother loves her, she's just having a very tough time right now.
