Is there light at the end of the tunnel Part 1?

[Bel123]

Why did you move out of the bedroom? The bedroom is the throne of the house and the LBS should stay on that throne. The WAS is the one that wants to end the M, so THEY are the one that should feel the inconveniences associated with that choice. If it were me, I would inform W that I'm moving back into the bedroom and then I would do it. I wouldn't ask her permission, nor would I ask her to move out, that's her choice to make. But there is no way in hell she would push ME out of my own bedroom because SHE wants to end the M!!!

I've said this to a lot of people and have heard a lot of excuses about why they "had" to move out of the bedroom. But none of those reasons sounded like anything other than pandering. Pandering does NOT earn you any brownie points with a WAS.

Likewise, the LBS should never move out of the house, although there are some instances where it can't be avoided (WAS owned house outright before M, or house is owned by WAS's family, etc.)

We use to sleep on the couch together and sometimes in the bed room and almost 2 years ago, during the pregnancy, when we had a lot of issues I kept sleeping in the living room and she kept sleeping in the bedroom. After our S was born, since I had to go into work early, it was a temporary thing until we got into a rhythm. The more distance we got the more uncomfortable it all became. When we went to MC in the beginning, she said she actually preferred it that way. So I don’t think I am in no position to march my way up there now and sleep there. But I do agree with you on the moving out part. We bought the house before we were married and it has both our names on it so I don’t feel I should have to move out. The question is move down to the basement or move to the living room as my own place with my stuff in there. I think when I figure out what I will do, I will have to let her know that I will try to support her in her decision but that should not involve me having to move out since she is the one that wants to leave the M. I have a feeling she will bark at that but that’s fine and she needs to deal with it.

Don't ask, because she will probably lie about it anyway. Act "as if" you're moving on with your life regardless. Detach, get a life, quit worrying about what your W is going to do. It's outside of your control. Control the one thing you can- you.

I keep telling myself that and it is getting easier but still get in my head.

As far as PILs, I am sure they will support whatever she decides and that’s what I told W as well last night. I told her they will support you whatever way you go. I will try to keep it to my D’s situation and try to avoid or not talk about our M.

AS, Thanks again for keeping up with my stich and giving me feedback!